Book Review: Wallbanger

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“Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a kitchen-aid mixer, and no O (and we’re not talking about Oprah here, folks…) She has Clive (the best cat ever,) great friends, a great rack, and no O. Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she’s ever heard…Enter Simon Parker…” (From Amazon.com)

Caroline just moved into a new apartment that she’s subletting from her great boss. What could be better? A new kitchen-aid mixer, rent control…oh wait. Yup, how could I forget? She lost her O. Ever since the “machine gun fucker,” Cory Weinstein, Caroline hasn’t been able to find O.

Exhausted from her move in, all Caroline wants to do is get some rest. But it’s impossible when the painting above her bed falls off the wall, hitting her in the head. What the… And then she realizes: her walls are shaking. But it’s no quake. It’s Simon “Wallbanger” from next door, thrusting his hips home and shaking Caroline’s walls in the process.

When this goes on night after night, Caroline finally confronts Simon…and thus begins the story.

What I Thought:

I so badly wanted to fall in love with this book. I think the main issue is that I had such high expectations going in. The reviews on Amazon are A-MAZING (5 stars, holla!) and it definitely is a book being talked up everywhere.

“I could see the edge, high above the raging waters. As I peeked over the edge, I saw her. O. She waved at me, diving under the water like a sexual porpoise. Crafty little bitch.”

Here’s my one major qualm that I just couldn’t get past: what the Hell is this sweet and corny stuff? After reading the synopsis I expected hot, steamy, passion-filled sexcapades throughout most of the book. I mean, yeah, it was steamy alright. I loved Simon and Caroline as characters and thought the chemistry was awesome. I just didn’t think the sexual tension was built up to the best of the author’s ability. And really it just comes down to plain preference here, folks. The style of writing was awesome, grammar/spelling was great, easy read. It’s just that I prefer my books to have a little more sexual tension.

“To be fair, I’d never actually heard a whore moan in church, but I had a feeling it sounded a lot like the unholy sounds pouring forth from my mouth.”

So yes, I was a little disappointed that A) we had to wait so long for the sex…Simon’s the Wallbanger for goodness sake – let’s see some wallbanging! and B) the sex we did see was very sweet and tender. Don’t get me wrong: sex needs to be tender sometimes but I like my book-sex rough and wild most of the time.

Now, that being said, this book was absolutely hysterical. I found myself laughing out loud quite a bit. I loved all of the characters and I think it was great how quickly I was drawn to each one. Even the not so great characters like Cory Weinstein were great!

And I loved…loved Clive the cat!

“A paw came out through the crack, and I swear he flipped me off.”

This one is highly recommended, guys. Just because I am a perv and like my sex reading about my sex to be hard, hot, and heavy doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy the book. And I really did enjoy it. It’s only $4.99 for the Kindle so pick this one up!!

Final Review: 4/5 stars. (without the “funnies” in this book, the rating would have been a 3)

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